


Promise Me

by Hbrook



Category: Cuphead (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Suicide, Caught in the action and stopped, Comfort, Cuddles, CupDice - Freeform, Cuphead has depression, Depression, Dice is a good boyfriend, Dice tries to help, DiceCup, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied childhood trauma, M/M, More Chapters to Come, Mugman tries to help, Panic Attack, Talked down from suicide, WIP, failed suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-08-02 17:41:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16309724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hbrook/pseuds/Hbrook
Summary: Here's my collection of angsty, and most likely mental illness themed Cuphead oneshots





	1. Chapter 1

Cuphead cut a potato, his heart pounding against his skin. He could hear it clamoring against his eardrums, even through the sound of the knife knocking on the counter. 

 

**_Knock._ **

 

**_Knock._ **

 

**_Knock._ **

 

Empty sadness and frustration welled up in him. Everything was fine. Why couldn’t  _ he  _ be?

 

His hands shook lightly, but he tried to force them steady. He had been fine, perfectly fine, for a long while, a really long while, but then some time a couple of weeks ago, it happened again, and it just kept getting worse, and worse.

 

**_Knock._ **

 

**_Knock._ **

 

**_Knock._ **

 

The sound was biting at his nerves now, and with each chop, he found it harder to cut. Everything was  _ fine… _

 

His eyes burned with a warm, soft itchiness, almost like he could cry, but he knew he couldn’t. He wanted to; he wished he could, but he couldn’t. His body refused to let him. His fingers started to get cold, and he let out a shaky breath. 

 

**_Knock._ **

 

**_Knock._ **

 

**_Knock._ **

 

The potato was chopped up now, and he set the knife down, scooping up the bits, and dumping them into a pot of boiling water. He set a timer and picked the knife back up, getting ready to start chopping another one when it crept in.

 

_ ‘It would stop if I were dead…’ _

 

He stared at the knife. He was cold now; his shaking caused it to quiver. 

 

‘ _ It would be so easy… It would be so over…’ _

 

He took the knife, slowly, and held it up to his wrist. There was an artery there. He could just cut it. Cut it and it would all stop. He wouldn’t even have to press hard. It wouldn’t even take long. It would just be over. 

 

His heart started to pound faster as he pressed it against his skin, feeling its cool dampness. It would hardly take anything. He added a little pressure, it stung. Just a little more-

 

“Darling?”

 

His heart rammed into his chest, and then stopped. He dropped the knife, leaving it to clatter on the floor, covering his just barely scraped wrist. He was shaking hard now, his blood feeling like liquid ice. 

 

What had he been thinking? He had been cooking dinner for his friends, for his  _ family.   _ They were all coming by soon. His mind raced. They would have found him, dead in a pool of his own blood. They would’ve-

 

“Darling…?” The voice rang again, but closer. Cuphead’s stomach dropped. How could he even explain this? “Are you alright?”

 

Guilt toppled on top of all the feelings overwhelming him. His heart was trying to tug itself out of his chest. He wasn’t sure if it wanted out to join the knife on the floor- or to just escape- it didn’t matter. 

 

“Cuphead?” A warm hand rested gently on his shoulder. “Cuphead, can I see it...?”

 

He turned around, unable to meet Dice’s gaze, and kept his arm held firmly in his grasp. “...It’s just a scratch…”

 

“...Please…?”

 

The worry, and softness in his voice almost made him wince, and he hesitantly let go of his wrist. He felt a trickle of blood run down his skin, then he felt Dice run a finger down it to swipe it away. 

 

“Darling…”

 

Cuphead shook harder. His legs wanted to give out, and his vision blurred. “I’m.. I’m s-sorry…” 

 

“Why didn’t you tell me…? Why didn’t you tell me it was bad again…?” He pulled him into a hug, engulfing him in warmth that he felt like he desperately needed, along with his scent. “I would have stayed back with you… I would have made sure you were okay…”

 

Tears spilled out, and he felt like he could hardly breath. He wrapped his arms around his lover, burying his head into his chest.

 

“Cuphead… I…” He pulled back from the hug, and grabbed his chin, making him look up at him. “ I’m yours… Forever and always.” The hand holding his chin slid to cup his face, “To hold and to have… Cuphead, I’m here for you. If you need me here, if you ever  _ want _ me here, I’m here… I need you to understand that…” He carefully swept away the tears, and pulled him into a hug, giving him a squeeze. “I don’t want to lose you…”

 

Cuphead hicked, and let out a sob. “I’m s- I’m sorry. I thought-”

 

“Promise me you’ll let me know.”

 

“I…”

 

“Please… Promise me you’ll let me know…”

 

“I…” He took in a deep breath, and tried to press himself closer to Dice. “I prom- promise.”

 

The body around him relaxed, then tightened snugly around him. “Good… good…” There was a few moments of silence between them, and Cuphead kept his head buried against Dice’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. 

 

“Dice… I love you…”

 

A beat passed.

 

“I love you too, darling.” 

 

They pulled back, and Cuphead immediately missed the warmth and comfort that felt had just been ripped away from him. Dice took his hand, interlocking their fingers, and gave it a comforting squeeze. “Lets get that cleaned up.” 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Despite being curled up under warm blankets, in a warm room, Cuphead was cold- freezing, almost- shaking. His blurred vision hardly let him see anything in his already dark room, and he curled in on himself further, pulling the blankets into his chest. He tried to stifle his sobs. He tried calm his shakes. He tried to quiet his breath.  Dice was right there, sound asleep beside him, and he didn’t want to wake him up… Especially not like this…

 

More tears spilled from his already drowned eyes, burning his skin as they ran down. Emotional pain completely wrecked his body, worsening his tremors, and forcing a rough gasp out of him. He wanted to breathe, he wanted to pant, and cough, and gasp for air, but he found himself holding his breath, trying not to make any more noise. It only made it worse. His lungs started to ache, and he held a hand over his mouth, hoping to hold back any other sounds that wanted to come out. 

 

Why couldn’t he just feel like a normal person? What did he deserve to feel this way? He felt so broken and so tormented, and the only thing that he had to blame was himself.  _ His _ brain was fucking up;  _ his _ feelings were fucking up. Maybe all the things that happened to him as a kid had some sort of twisted domino effect that lead up to these feelings, but that was over now. Why couldn’t it  _ feel  _ over. Why was it necessary that he ended up with depression. He just didn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to be okay. He was loved. He was safe. He had stability. He had everything.

 

Yet here he was. Another miserable sound escaped him, and he hated it. He just wanted it to  _ stop _ . The pain. The emptiness. The waves. The wastelands. The feeling alone in rooms filled with people. The watered down happiness. The faked smiles. The feigned feelings. All of it. He just wanted it to  _ s t o p. _ ...

 

…

 

But it had been years. Years since he started feeling this way… He couldn’t make it stop… could he…?

 

He hiced, and his lungs forced air into him, forcing it out just as fast. That taste of air reminded him how much he needed it, causing him to draw it in again. That one didn’t stay in either, so he tried to bring it back in again, and again, until he found himself hyperventilating. Sobs started to escape him, as well as coughs as he tried to breathe through all the snot and spit.

 

Oh god. 

 

Oh  _ god. _

 

It was never going to stop. It was never going to be over, was it?

 

And arm wrapped itself around his waist, and his heart panged. Shit.

 

_ Shit. _

 

He’d woken him up. 

 

Guilt tugged at him, and he felt the urge to curl into himself further

 

The arm around him pulled him back until he was pressed against its owner’s chest. “...Cuphead?”

 

He couldn’t find it in himself to answer. He just wanted to shrivel away. He should have gotten up to cry somewhere else… He would have if he could’ve convince his body that it was capable of moving…

 

Dice’’s head nuzzled his shoulder, and he could just barely make out the scent of his cologne through his stuffy nose. He was on the verge of spilling out an apology when the arm around him tightened snugly, and Dice wrapped his body around his, spooning him. Cuphead felt his trimmers calm slightly, but other than that, there was no change. He let out a strangled noise, trying to make himself quiet again.

 

“It’s alright, sweetheart… You can cry.” Dice nuzzled his shoulder. “I’ll be right here with you.”

 

A sense of relief washed over him. Dice had always been so good to him… Patient… accepting… loving…  He cried more freely now, but still couldn’t help trying to stop every now and then, failing. He cried until he couldn’t anymore, until the unbearable pain was replaced with a more empty pain, a more tired out, exhausted pain. Until his eyes were dried out, and his mouth was dry from all the crying. Until his breath was even, and he could lean back calmly into his lover, who was tracing lines into his stomach.

 

He sighed. How much longer…

 

“Feeling any better…?” Dice mumbled gently, pressing a kiss against the side of his head.

 

“Yeah…” This feeling was much more manageable…

 

He scattered a few more kisses on his face and shoulder before nuzzling him again.  “I’m glad.”

 

They fell into silence.

 

“Darling… Do you think you’ll be able to sleep?”

 

Cuphead thought about it for a moment. “...Yeah, I do… Will you?”

 

“Mhm…”

 

They lapsed back into silence, and eventually, both drifted off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cuphead finally got some well needed snuggles. Comment?


	3. Chapter Three

Cuphead slammed the bathroom door behind himself, pressing himself against it, sliding down as he shook.

“I-I’m fine, fine, fine-”

There was a rough knock on the door. “Cuphead, what’s wrong?? Are you-”

“I’m fine! I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fi-fine!” Tears rolled down his face, and he gripped the side of his face to try to ground himself. He felt like he was going crazy. He could feel himself slipping. He could feel his heart racing, and his breath running away. He was going crazy. He was losing it.

He shook harder as he slowly lost control over his own body, crying, sobbing, gasping, holding his head so tight it hurt, forgetting how to respond; shutting down. He wanted to scream. Scream, scream, scream until his voice was raw. He was gone, and he knew it. His thoughts didn’t even feel like they were his own anymore. 

Mugman yelled his name again, but he barely heard it. He could barely hear anything. Eventually, the voice behind the door silenced, and he could ease back into himself, slowly becoming aware, and slowly regaining control. He let out a sigh. He was still shaking like a leaf, but he remembered why he was in here in the first place, and that Mugman was probably standing behind the door, worried and waiting, so he forced himself to stand up on his wobbly legs, and open it. 

“I’m- I’m fine…” He managed. 

“Cuphead…”  He looked at him in helpless loss for a moment before gently pulling him into a hug. 

Cuphead sunk into him, unable to hold himself up anymore, hugging him back. “Thank you…”

He gave him a light squeeze. “We can stay right here, if you want…”

He nodded. He didn’t want to go back to the group yet…

**Author's Note:**

> What did you guys think? Let me know in the comments!


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